The idea of asking for help does not come naturally for me.
I felt helpless. I was in Newark Airport in a wheelchair, and I couldn’t get anyone in an airline uniform to help me. Forty-eight hours earlier I dislocated five joints and fractured three bones in my foot. I was trying to fly home to Texas to get surgery. I was waiting for an attendant to take me through security, but at the moment I needed help getting to the men’s room. I tried to get there on my own. But, I was struggling with a carry-on bag, my computer bag, and a set of crutches. Someone finally did come to help me. But those ten minutes were humbling. I realized that for the next 10-12 weeks, I was going to be dependent on others.
As I progress through my rehabilitation, I have tried to do things on my own which I should not do. I have almost fallen over on my crutches getting something from the kitchen. I have spilled drinks. And I have made the people who want to help me frustrated by my stubborn need to be in control. The idea of asking for help is not one that comes naturally to me.
What about you? When you are not the expert or are unsure if you have everything you need, what do you do? Do you ask for help? For me, my pride kicks in and I push through on my own. I tell myself I will figure it out. I make more mistakes than necessary and end up creating more work for myself and for others.
Why don’t leaders ask for help? Maybe we think it shows some sort of weakness. We may think, “If I don’t know something, people will wonder how I ever got promoted.” Therefore, we “fake it until we make it.” The problem is everyone else already knows we are faking it. We are not building their confidence in us, we are destroying it.
In fact, by asking for help, we are actually demonstrating that we have confidence in them! We know we don’t have the solution, but we believe they do. We can’t do it without them. They feel valued. They begin to step into uncertain situations and have the confidence to offer their expertise. Because you have trusted their advice and expertise before, they now feel empowered to offer it proactively.
When one has the Humility to ask for help or ask for advice, the team sees that it is okay for them to ask for help as well. The example set by the leader, opens up the rest of the team to take the initiative to learn from each other and grow. The Humility of the leader is contagious.
As I write this, I am sitting in my recliner with my foot up in the air. I am reliant on my wife, my friends, and our Becoming a Leader of Character team to do more for me than I had ever allowed them to do. Yes. It is humbling. But, it reminds me how my pride has hindered my growth and my relationships with the people around me. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is the humble declaration that we need others in our lives to make us better.
This is just another example of how often I have to relearn old lessons the hard way. Which is humbling as well!
Question:
● How quickly do you turn to someone and ask for help when you are unsure?
● Who could you empower by being humble enough to say “I need help.”?
Here is a quick assessment that will take you 5 minutes to figure it out. Nobody will ever see your results but you.
Warning: If you are not going to be honest with yourself this is a worthless assessment.
To take the assessment use the QR code above or go to www.MYCHARACTERTEST.com
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